Burn 'em While you got 'em

With the Senate's near-miss proposal to criminalize flag burning, every American should reconsider who they are voting for in the upcoming elections. As much as I support the strong-willed Republicans in current Congressional seats, the fact that they can't even pass a little Constitutional Amendment that has widespread public support shows a severe lack in their fortitude.

I need my Congresspeople to dictate my life with more conviction.

In fact, our leaders couldn't even ban this despicable and hurtful act by getting a law passed. Since our representatives will only fight half-heartedly for such a noble bill, the public's only hope is that the resolve of its elected officials will be strengthened by the helpless cries of women and children in the night being unneccesarily victimized by flagburning.

That's right. Every 16 seconds, two women, four infants and a three-month old kitten die because of flag burning.

How you ask?

No matter where you live, you cannot walk outside without seeing hundreds of Americans rioting in the streets and burning Old Glory without abandon. Go ahead. Try it. Go outside right now.

See?

The skies are polluted with the burnt remnants of the Stars and Stripes, clogging the lungs of the innocent, law-abiding citizens who don't succumb to the ubiquitous social pressure to set our flag ablaze. When these poor people inhale the deadly, poisonous fumes billowing from the constantly burning fields of red,white and blue fabric, they contract Lung Cancer within minutes.

Bottom line? We need stronger leaders to keep us safe from the mobbing hordes of unpatriotic flag-burners infiltrating our lungs with black death. As a voter, you have three options: sit back and do nothing, avoiding voting at all costs, or contact your legislator and tell them you demand that your freedom of speech be limited to protect the good name of the nation.

I urge you to consider the third option after toying around with the idea of the first two and taking a nap. Rise up citizens of America.

Now is the time to use your voice to stifle it.